I first came across the BE DO HAVE model when I was reading Stephen Covey and later Anthony Robbins, both use this model to great effect. I found that this is a powerful tool to use especially if you want lasting change, but I also found it's quite a difficult concept to wrap your head around. On reading Jaemin Fraser I found that he explained it very simply and easily to understand so I’m not going to re-invent the wheel I’m going to tell you exactly what he told me.
The BE, DO, HAVE, model.
Success in any area of life always starts with a very clear picture about the results that you want to achieve, if you don’t know what your end goal is then how do you know whether you’ve achieved success or not. We need to be clear about what we want and why we want it. The big question is "who do I need to be" or to put it another way "what kind of person, has the success that I want in my life".
If you want to be an author or a songwriter, then your end goal is to have a bestselling book or a world-famous song. You can visualise what that success looks like, how you feel, how you dress, what you think about money, how you treat others, the energy you have for your work, your confidence, your ability to help other struggling authors or songwriters.
What does success look like and what do you need to do, to be just like that. If I become like them, then I will have the same results as they do.
Once you know what you want to "be" and you know what you want to "have", then the doing is acting like you already have it. Note, it's not about being arrogant, but having the quiet confidence knowing exactly where you are going.
How does it work?
The model works well when you start thinking about your long-term plans. The value in it is that you can start with literally just verbalising your ideas. Imagine yourself in say 10 years from now or whatever time period you want to think about, who do you want to be?, how do you want to be?, what do you want to do?, what do you want to have?
So, here’s my example "I want to be happy, do a lot of travelling, and have a house with a garden". Notice that they are based on the same structure Be equals be happy do equals a lot of travelling and have equals a house with a garden.
Making long-term goals can be quite daunting, you need to be really specific and that sometimes is quite hard to do, but, if you can just write down the thoughts that come into your head and then you can try to analyse which ones are at your core.
Take a piece of paper make three columns at the top of column 1 mark "BE" at the top of column 2 mark "DO" and at the top of column 3 mark "HAVE".
In column 1 writes down everything that you want to Be - be creative, think about your beliefs, your skills, knowledge, your needs, your dreams. Write everything down about what you want to be, a singer, an author, a dancer, a teacher, a playwright, but also, be a mother, a wife or it could be I want to be patient, kind, generous, loving.
In column 2 write down everything that you want to DO. Be specific about your doing - if it's travelling then where to? New York, Hawaii, Bali, Japan. It could also be experiences that you want, things like I want to walk the Great Wall of China, swim in the great barrier reef, or I want to learn to salsa, to tango, learn the piano. Or maybe I want to volunteer my time more often at my local community centre or a local charity that is close to your heart.
In column 3 you write down everything that you want to "HAVE". Start easy, things a house, a car, a walk-in wardrobe, an en-suite bathroom. Remember to be creative at this point, remember to think about the small things that bring you great happiness. It could be something like I want to have fresh flowers every week in my in my bedroom. Whatever it is that brings you great joy needs to go into these columns.
Remember everything that you write down must be specific things like I want to have £50,000 in the bank or I want to have a house that’s in Studland Bay.
So, what's next?
Over this week I'll be giving The Space Hoppers with Liz the next 3 steps that you need to take.
If you're reading this on my blog, then go to Facebook and join the group.
If you're a Space Hopper, then stay tuned for the rest of this week.
Elizabeth Pickering is a Resilience coach, who helps people find resilience within themselves to inspire, lead and motivate themselves both at home and at work to avoid burnout, stress and exhaustion.